Day 4: And on the Fourth Day, The Trophy Wife Rested

So, yesterday was a crazy, crazy day. I was running from one end of town to the other, trying to nail things down for the beginning of school. So, my kitchen lay idle from dawn until dusk. There was not one item of food prepared. I would like to say that it was a restful day, but then I would be lying. So there you go - sometimes even a Trophy Wife has to call in for dinner. On tap for today: The Trophy Wife's Turkey Meatloaf and Parmesan Smashed Potatoes. Just wait, this one will be good!

Day 3: That'll Learn Ya

There is only one thing that I have learned in my 8 year tenure as a parent (well probably more than one thing, but for the purposes of this blog entry, and my artistic literary license...) and that is, that when you let your children stay up past their bedtimes they are very, very, very surly the following day. They will make you PAY for any fun you have had the night before. I try to teach the girls "natural consequences," as in if you drop your choners (our word for underwear) in the gutter while you are throwing them in the air as we are walking into swimming lessons, you will not have clean choners to put on after you finish swimming. If you leave your Barbie shoes on the floor, the dogs will use them as dental floss. If you use your dress as a napkin, well... you will look like you used your dress as a napkin. If you leave your scooter outside for a month, it may not go as fast the next time you race your sister. If you roll in the sand, and make "sand angels" at the beach, you may or may not get sand in places you would prefer not to have sand (I could go on...) I guess I may have deserved to have a little "natural consequences" education myself...

That'll learn me.

So I did something today that I haven't done since January. I bought a loaf of bread. This may seem like an innocuous act, however I have been challenging myself to make all of our bread from scratch, and this is my first moment of weakness. In my defense, the bread was purchased so that I could make french toast...so...there you go. And, I'm not sorry at all.

On to the Ina Experiment! My recipes for today are Lemon Capellini with Caviar (pg.129) and Sugar Snap Peas with Sesame (pg. 105.) This pasta is one of my favorites. The recipe calls for 2, count 'em: 2 sticks of butter. In the words of my beloved, esteemed Ina "What could be so bad about that?" Well, I guess a heart attack could be so bad about that, but who cares when you are eating Lemon Capellini with Caviar! For those of you who are new to cooking, try this one out. It is very easy, and yet very company-friendly. (It frightens me when I channel my mother.) The girls were not such fans of the Lemon Capellini, however. My oldest daughter Tyler stated that she "preferred her lemons in a pie," so judge your audience. The Sugar Snap Peas with Sesame were very light, crisp and fresh, and loved by all. I wasn't able to find black sesame seeds, but honestly I really didn't look very hard, so that part is still an unknown. I added some salt and pepper, and that seemed to really round out the dish. Leftovers can be eaten as is, or chopped up into a summer salad. Again in the words of Ina: "Isn't that fabulous?"

Day 2: Yogurt for Breakfast, Schellmans for Dinner

Good morning Saturday! Today I began anew my quest to master the culinary world of Ina Garten. My menu plan for the morning was Orange Yogurt (pg. 229) and Homemade Granola (pg. 210.) I had put together the granola the day before. This recipe is a must-try. It is great alone, with milk, or as I paired it, with yogurt. Just remember to stir frequently, and if you can smell it cooking, it might be getting ready to burn. We deviated from the called-for dried fruits, as I was trying to involve the girls with my new project. They chose blueberries and apricots. Other than that, I stuck to the recipe, and followed directions. (Someone might need to dial 911 at this point, because I am sure if my mother is reading this she has gone into full cardiac arrest, as she has never known me to follow a direction in my life. Hold on Mommy, help is coming!) As I mentioned, I paired this granola with Orange Yogurt. Ina calls for plain low-fat yogurt - I happened to use plain Greek yogurt because I had it on hand. You are supposed to let the yogurt drain overnight in a sieve to remove the excess liquid. I was really amazed at how much came out! I added all the ingredients, and again followed directions. (Hang in there Mom, it's not much longer now...) I've got to tell you, this yogurt is fabulous. It is super-creamy, and very tasty. It is great alone, or with the granola. Big two thumbs up. My youngest daughter Ryan even liked it! (Dear readers, you will recall her of the Lemonade-Keyboard Murder fame.) She gave it a love-it-so-much-you-smear-all-over-your-face approval.

So after being fabulously sated with an amazing breakfast we went about our usual Saturday which always involves a trip to my in-laws for a half-sandwich. Every week they call and ask if we will be joining them for a half-sandwich. I don't know why they never ask if we will be joining them for a full-sandwich. It is always half. One is always allowed to eat a full sandwich if one chooses, however one is never preemptively invited to do so. So...we ate our half-sandwiches, snacked on left-over birthday cake (of Best-of-Show fame,) and watched the girls swim. Mimi and Granddaddy (a.k.a. my in-laws) had a party to go to, and we had the Schellmans coming for dinner so we had to skedaddle. On my menu for the evening: Indonesian Ginger Chicken (pg. 125) and Szechuan Noodles (pg. 108.) Once the Schellmans had arrived, we got the drinks pouring, the kids playing, and the food cooking. Copious amounts of laughter is always paired with any meal with the Schellmans, and luckily this time bad french accents did not make an appearance. (For some reason when my husband and Mr. Schellman become less inhibited with the consumption of alcohol, they start to "speak French." I say this loosely because I don't think there is a french person on the planet who could recognize one word used in their dialogue. Mrs. Schellman (a.k.a. my bff sister-wife Tamara) and I usually shake our heads, and wonder to ourselves how two girls could get so lucky.) The meal was enjoyed by everyone (And by everyone, I mean all adults, and 3 out of 4 kids, with the exception of Little Schellman) and some even had seconds! With our tummies full, and our wine glasses empty, we decided we needed to permanently record our ratings for the recipes. My husband gave the Szechuan Noodles a sideways thumb, because he is not a fan of peanut butter, which the recipe contains. But...(and this is a BIG BUT)... he ate it... which was no small victory for me (and one ENORMOUS endorsement for Ina,) because in 15 years of marriage (Yes, I was a child-bride) he has NEVER eaten anything that contained peanut butter. Here is a picture of our rating system for the Szechuan Noodles. (L-R Mr. Schell

man, Brent, Mrs. Schellman, and Little Schellman. Mrs. Schellman is obscured to protect the innocent.) Again, Little Schellman - not a fan.

And we've received a response from the peanut gallery:

...Personally I think the half-sandwich is a lovely idea. I mean, to be intimidated by two whole slices of calorie-ridden bread may be just too much to bear, especially if the in-laws are cellulite-bearers, as many in-laws are. I'll bet their sandwiches are wealthy in lovely cheeses, deli meats, tomatoes, lettuces, and tasty mayonnaise, not to mention the accompaniment of delicious lightly salted potato chips and fresh fruit slices. Additionally, it sounds like they are especially lovely people to open their home and water to their blog family with all the dangers that might ensue from such a public display of familial goings ons. - Anonymous

About to Pop

I realize

that I am no

Kate Moss,

and I could stand

to lose a few LBS.,

but "didn't know

you were pregnant?"

(Alright, I have

obsessed enough...)

Day 1: In which no good deed goes unpunished.

Homemade Lemonade by Ina Garten:

So, today I began the experiment! I decided to take baby steps and start with what at first seemed harmless. At the beginning of The Barefoot Contessa Cookbook, Ina has a recipe for lemonade which looked refreshing, summer-appropriate, and fun. So I juiced my lemons, added the rest of ingredients in to the blender, and tried to follow directions as closely as I am humanly capable. I did spill some lemonade out of the top of the blender when things got whirring, however this was easily cleaned up. No harm done. Yet. I then poured two frosty glasses of lemonade for my girls which they were to consume on the porch. My youngest daughter Ryan decided to take hers inside, and somehow managed to spill all that frothy, frosty, lemony goodness all over the computer keyboard. Instant keyboard death. Good times. But other than that, the lemonade was fabulous, and as advertised!

Note: I should have known that things might not be going my way today when the checker at the grocery store exclaimed: "I didn't know you were pregnant again!" To which I responded: "only with a fat-baby." Seriously, didn't her mother ever teach her anything?

The Melani & Ina Experiment

News Bulletin Just In...

Mild mannered housewife from the suburbs plans to topple the culinary giants and become the next Oprah Winfrey of Food.

So I decided to come up with a project of sorts. While not as ambitious as Julie Powell of Julie & Julia fame, I thought that maybe, just maybe I could at least expand my horizons and hone my culinary expertise with a project of my own. Immediately, of course, I thought of my BFF Ina Garten (see blog post #3.) She is my hero, my idol, my pedagogue for all things comestible, and my go-to gal when I know I need a recipe that will work the first time, every time. I thought, why not take Ina's collection of cookbooks, and go through them one by one, and catalog my progress and foibles? I will earn my doctorate in all things Ina, with supreme fabulousness as my paramount goal. Ina has 6 cookbooks. The first one is The Barefoot Contessa Cookbook. My maiden voyage will be to accomplish Ina's first tome of 87 recipes by November 1, 2009. A fool's errand you say! Not so! This mild mannered housewife (who may, or may not swear like a trucker on occasion) will prevail! And anyway our names are kind-of a palindrome (or at-least an almost palindrome, to be a real palindrome we would have to be Melani & Inalem) so clearly it was meant to be...

Yoda, and Brent's 40th Birthday

This last weekend we celebrated my husband's 40th birthday. In our final ovation to his fading youth we feted my now aged spouse with a Star Wars/Luau party as a nod to the fancies of his youth, and his State of birth (HI.) In keeping with the theme, I attempted a "character cake." (In my defense, this all looks so easy when I watch it on "The Cake Boss"/"Ace of Cakes.") I created Yoda's body out of 4 layers of spice cake with maple frosting (Brent's request.) I fashioned his head and ears out of rice crispy treats, and then proceeded to cover them in green fondant. (Again, they make this look so easy on T.V.!) One important thing I learned: You have ONE, I repeat ONE chance with fondant. If you screw it up, you must start over. Putting fondant on top of fondant in order to hide your complete incompetence with handling fondant, does not work. After four hours of wrestling with a decapitated Yoda head, (or would it be pre-capitated, since he had yet to have his head placed on his body?) I finally had the finished, or as finished as I was going to get, product. Fortunately for all involved, Yoda does look better from behind a pair of beer goggles, or wine goggles, or inebriation agent of your choice goggles. There is a reason why we saved the cake for last.

Here for your viewing pleasure, I give you.... Yoda (or at least a somewhat plausible, if not highly maimed representation.)